Who Determines Your Life & How?
‘You can make a mountain out of a mole hill, or consider the mountain as a molehill; Whatever makes your job easier!’ – Madhvi Panchal said that.
It is a boon, that the power to consider and make sense out of any given situation in our lives and make choices lies with no one but us. We inherently enjoy dodging our share of responsibility onto others and then blame when things go wrong. However, intentionally or unintentionally it is us who are making a choice every single moment. Our whole life is nothing but a painting of lines and colors of choices. There isn’t any option to erase the lines once drawn and that is why the people who understand the power of choice, have this fundamental nature to be as dexterous (mindful of choices) as possible.
So, if you unbiased-ly think about it, whatever picture of our life is right now, isn’t because of what was given to us, but purely about the choices we’ve made. The choice to cry over situations or the choice to grow out of it, the choice to let hatred take over or the choice to stay compassionate. We make a choice every single living moment, for e.g. as of now, notice your passive thoughts making choices – ‘should I read this blog further?’, ‘now or later?’, ‘should I scroll and see how long it is’, ‘is there something in store for me here?’ , if you get a notification in middle of reading, ‘should I open it now or later’. Because most of our choices are done passively, we fail to understand that we have kept so much of our potential on auto-mode. Which is why I think most don’t understand what on earth is happening in their lives because their active cognitive participation in life changing decisions is almost nil.
To switch from passive decision making to actively owning what you want to do with so much that you have and not be crushed under this responsibility, these two things are ineluctable:
Mindfulness begins with accepting that every moment is choice and what you do out of what you have lies on you. We have given the ultimate power to ‘CHOOSE’; from choosing how we feel to choosing whether we even want to make a choice or not. Some people with an abused childhood turn into criminals, some end up become biggest philanthropists. If where we come from is the factor of what we can be, then the results for all the abused ones should have been the same. But is it? No, because the difference is in the ‘Choices’ they make. You are what you make out of now, not where you come from.
The choices you are making now, makes it simple to know what you will be. (matlab nazuk kandho pe aur ek zimmedaari? 😛 YES!)
So how can we be aware of the choices we make? We make choices in 2 modes –
- Active : Being aware of the choices available, understanding the repercussions of each and calculatedly making a best possible choice. Active choice makers do not play victim because they are the ones who take ownership and knows no entitlement.
- Passive: Choices made out of habits, impulse, more out of emotions and reaction than a well thought response. For the ones whose majority choices are passive, to them, things just happen, they don’t make things happen. They are much more prone to play victim and be more reactive in nature.
HOW CAN YOU PRACTICE MINDFULNESS?
- Keep reminding yourself every now and then to be aware of your breathing and posture. Practice deep breathing and meditation. Mediation is THE solution for psychological and spiritual transcendence.
- Supervise your thoughts. If what your thoughts are giving you negative emotions, shift it immediately. Make a list on your cell of the things that make you happy. So everytime you’re in a bad train of thoughts, open that list or listen to those songs that make you feel great instantly. What you think, you become.
- You have every possible reason backing the idea to take a pause before an act. The probability of impulse decision being right depends on how mindful you are and how strong are your intuitions. And yet I would say, regardless of anything, take a pause before you act and that can reduce a lot of regrets in future.
- Mindfulness is enough; you won’t have to control things like anger, addiction, impulse decisions because the need to control won’t be there in the first place! You’ll know when to retract and when to feed your thoughts and habits.
- Don’t give in to anyone else’s opinion. You can learn from everyone, but rely on your mind and your own decision-making abilities. Your life is absolutely your responsibility, create impact. Trust and devote the 5 elements you’re made of.
After practicing all of this, you might ask, will this guarantee the results that I want in life?
No. But is thinking about it your job? Again, NO! Your life is your responsibility which means you are your making and you must take into account the repercussion of your actions, but your job ends there. Give you best, do your best, this all your role is. The meaning of life is to live and you get to decide if that should happen passively or actively with you. What then happens out of it is out of your reach. So don’t obsess over results, just stick to you goals with honest intentions. One thing is for sure, what goes around, comes around; and it is the best thing! Karma is wonderful at her job, have faith in her. Surrender. God is or isn’t has been and will be a question of debate that will list till humans do; But what can’t be overlooked is that there is an energy much intense and powerful than ours. Surrender to that energy. The meaning to our life isn’t the results, it is the doings.
Being mindful will take care of almost every aspect – the habits you imbibe, the quality of your circle, your relationships, suicidal tendencies, manifesting, attracting, gratitude and also the very hyped (in my opinion) and in trending ‘self-love’. You can count your money and know what you can do with it, but do you know how much time you have to enjoy what you have? Ain’t life too short to live passively?
Being surrendering means to ‘Karm kiye ja, fal ki apeksha mat kar. It is more in the being than having. Having doesn’t determine being, deeds determine both being and having. End results are a combination of so many factors which are beyond our control, why worry about what you can’t do anything about? Maybe, worry about what you can if you have to worry at all!
It’s a beautiful life, beautiful age and whatever has happened in each of our lives, we accept it and learn through it all.