Why the sky looked same all these years till yesterday and now it suddenly looks much bluer? The flowers are so attractive suddenly, why? Why did zits never bother you just so much before? Started splurging more on perfumes and lipsticks? How funny it is that you meet someone and suddenly there are changes in yourself and in the things you notice around. Suddenly, the world is so beautiful! Why?
Taking much more time than usual to dress up and day dreaming the romance throughout the mundane tasks you perform. That sweet blushy feeling of being liked by someone who you like a lot… Why is this feeling among the strongest? You no longer stay the same person after you fall in love. You either drown or rise in love, depends. On the partner and your receptivity to this subtly fierce emotion. Maybe, but then who can be so sure about things of love.
Haven’t done a thesis on love, but a mere outlook is enough to tell what I am telling you now. I have always felt very strongly that love is one of the best emotions to possess and it can blissfully lift you to a higher level of your own self. While rest of the world keeps sloganeering ‘Love Hurts, Love Hurts’, I stand by the understanding, love doesn’t hurt for sure. In fact, it is the feelings devoid of love that hurts (jealousy, disloyalty, manipulations, mindless confusions, ‘faqt havas’). Love makes you feel so special, whether it is about love for your work, your well-being, a partner, friend, etc. When being treated like a gem no one in the right mind will do things to fuck up that beautiful connection. So, it is important to ensure you deal with someone who has a right mind.
Even if an emotional approach towards relationship is more natural and tempting, you’ve got to undertake a practical approach to maintain that relationship in the long term without losing yourself in it. What does it mean? How does it even happen?
When in love, you naturally tend to give yourself away a lot to them. Some even keep their self-respect at the mercy of their partner. They feel obliged to believe in partner’s excuses and give 50 million chances. For so many, is not always about candle light dinners and bed of roses. Feelings such as worthlessness, trying to be someone else to keep holding partner’s attention, begging for basic communication, facing disloyalty and when confronted then being emotionally blackmailed to stay in relationship, etc. are just a few mistreatment some get in the name of love. Such people undoubtedly forget to be happy like before yet don’t walk away from this mess as they think hurt is a part and parcel of love. Even if all they get is endless pain and nights full of agony they call it ‘giving sacrifices for love.’
EYE OPENER – Love doesn’t ask for sacrifices. Maybe a lot of adjustments, but not sacrifice.
I am pointing out certain traits that can help you know if you are losing yourself with time and your are unaware about it as yet:
1. Always giving in to what your partner says
2. Where can I get some privacy!
3. Mental and emotional exploitation
4. A constant feeling of partner’s disloyalty (loyalty doesn’t only mean not sleeping with someone else, it has a mental factor involved too)
5. I miss my earlier self so much.
6. Regret for settling for someone not worth your emotions`
7. Burnout, anxiety, stress, I FEEL SO LOST!
It is very difficult to get over a relation which once meant a world to you. It leads to so much of loneliness and late night cryings, but isn’t that already happening if you’re in a toxic relation? In the process of preserving a beautiful connection, I want to ask you to not sacrifice your own self because in the long run, it will be like trading gold for rusted iron and there is no doubt about the fact that you will feel guilty for doing this to yourself. I am not against love or anything, it is its fan base activities that alarm me.